


Looking Back

by TheLostEmpath



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Battle of Mustafar, Obi-Wan Needs a Hug, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 09:02:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14912439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLostEmpath/pseuds/TheLostEmpath
Summary: Obi-Wan never expected to survive Mustafar





	Looking Back

**Author's Note:**

> This is one idea of what could've gone through Obi-Wan's mind on Mustafar.
> 
> All characters belong to the creator(s) and owner(s) of Star Wars, I am merely borrowing them!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Obi-Wan never expected to survive Mustafar. In fact he'd never meant to. He was ready to fight to the death to keep Anakin from hurting anyone else. If he failed and got killed, well at least no one could say he hadn't tried. Maybe Anakin would even wake up from his madness after realizing he killed his old master, though that Obi-Wan knew to be only wishful thinking.  
Killing Anakin was something he couldn't even imagine, but if the unthinkable happened, well, at least Anakin wouldn't die alone. It's not like Obi-Wan could just live on, knowing he had murdered the person he loved the most, his friend and his padawan (former padawan, he corrected in his mind, not that it mattered much now). Things hadn't gone the way he'd planned, but then again with Anakin as his padawan and Qui-Gon as his master when did things ever go as planned anyway. It should've been obvious from the start, but somehow he had still let himself hope, like the idiot he was.  
He had hoped to keep Padmé safe by keeping Anakins attention on himself, when he stepped out of the aircraft. But alas, Anakin had hurt her, because of Obi-Wan, blinded by his jealousy. Making his way to Padmé, listening to her faint heartbeats, he tried reaching for Anakin in every way he could. He tried using their severed bond, but Anakin blocked him off. Padmé was burning up with fever and Obi Wan realized he had to be quick to save her. So he drew out his lightsaber and fought Anakin, not for his life but Padmes. Oh how it hurt when he realized Anakin didn't do it because he had to, no, he wanted to kill Obi Wan. He almost stopped fighting then, because what did it even matter? He had failed as a master just as he had failed as a padawan, he couldn't save his master and he couldn't save Anakin. But, he thought, I can save Padmé and her children now and all be damned if I don't even try to make it right this time. He fought Anakin with all that he had and every slash of his lightsaber cut him deeper than it could ever cut Anakin. And cut Anakin it did.  
He was not trying to kill Anakin, he never would've. So when the moment finally came, Anakin had the disadvantage Obi-Wan knew this would be his only chance and he yelled, no, pleaded "It's over Anakin. I have the high ground", because he knew how this would end and so did Anakin. Because he would take his chance to end this fight, for Padmé and the children and yes, even for Anakin, the Anakin he had trained, the little boy from Tatooine and his stubborn and bold padawan, that Anakin would've wanted him to save the woman he loved. But it broke his heart to do it and he would rather have pierced his own heart with his lightsaber. In fact that's exactly what would've happened if it hadn't been for Padmé and the children. Now he was forced to watch Anakin, broken and hateful, and in a moment of weakness he told Anakin he had loved him. It was a lie. He hadn't just loved Anakin, he still did. He loved Anakin in all that he had done and even as Darth Vader Obi-Wan loved him more than anything in this or any other world. Though he did not like what Anakin had become, he had no choice but to love him. And now he walked away. He walked away, screaming and burning inside just as Anakin was from the outside, and he did it for Anakin and for Padmé and the children.  
Even after years and years of looking back to that moment, Obi-Wan couldn't say if he had made the right choice or not. True, he did save Luke and Leia by doing that, but he couldn't save Padmé or Anakin. He left Anakin to the Dark Side, lethally injured, but very much alive and in doing so may have caused a lot of destruction. Maybe he should've just killed him there and then. Or maybe he should've just killed himself. But what's done is done and he chose to try to save Padmé and the children. Anakin's children. He took Padmé and left the godforsaken planet forever, leaving the most important thing in his life behind screaming, burning and broken. In the end, Obi-Wan thinks, he never really did survive Mustafar.


End file.
